We all know that the universe works in mysterious ways. An old prayer tells us that in giving we shall receive. We learn that the more we share, the more it comes back to us. But do we really live the profoundness of these teachings at the levels of behavior? We enjoy the beauty of these words in conversations, we agree with the ideas at a mental level, we doubt their validity at emotional level, but we rarely behave as if they were a truth to live by.
Only a couple of months before graduating from college, I became desperate to leave Romania and to find a masters program abroad. I thoroughly disliked what I studied and because I didn’t see any practical applications for the theory I had to forcefully ingest during classes, I was a way-below-average student that barely passed his exams. I wasn’t meeting the basic academic requirements for a post-graduate program in Europe and all evidence showed I didn’t stand a chance, but I kept looking, browsing and asking around.
At the same time, a lovely woman entered my life. We struck up a conversation during a concert in a blues bar and quickly became friends. Irene was a beautiful and lively person, a kind soul that everybody wants to have around. She was a fantastic jazz singer, but she had also given up her dreams of becoming a musician. Everybody believed engineering was the safest way into adulthood so she joined the same university as I had. I later found out that we were colleagues in the same year but we never saw each other because she was also working two full-time jobs. She was five years older than me and she was repeating her last year of studies for the fifth time. Irene enrolled in this bachelor program 10 years ago and her hope was that this year she will finally graduate. We became close friends. We traveled together, we played rock ballads late at night in the students dormitory, we worked and stayed up late before exams to study together. Limited only by my knowledge and abilities, I offered her my full, unconditional support with her exams.
After several months of late night searching for a postgraduate program abroad, I became tired of not meeting the academic requirements and of not having the mandatory credentials. I became really angry about feeling not good enough for some stranger with a position of authority, to make a decision about my future. “Screw you with your damn requirements! There has to be better way!
One day after breakfast, Irene invited me to join her for a cup of coffee with one of her friends who was a faculty member at the university. I wasn’t particularly sociable and friendly on that cold and cloudy morning, but I eventually accepted and we went together to the professor’s office. They talked for half an hour and I patiently waited on a chair next to the door without saying a word. They shared a few stories about their lives, revealed small secrets about their health and said good bye with the promise of seeing each other again soon. As I wished our host a good day, I found myself asking without even thinking if she had any idea of how I could get into a masters program abroad. She thought for a few seconds and then wrote a name on a piece of paper, advising me to send this guy an email. I wasn’t at all curious to search his name online, but I sent the email without any hope for a positive reply. The second day this person called and asked me if I would be interested in a Ph.D. position in aerospace engineering at a leading university in Germany. To my surprise, he was the leader of a major division with the German Aerospace Center. He offered me the position without asking too many questions about my academic background and I accepted without having any idea of what a Ph.D. actually was.
We read in books and hear from others that this world works in mysterious ways. We learn that the more we share with others the more it comes back to us, but we never really live the profoundness of these teachings at the level of behavior. Simply stated, we know it but we don’t do it. Especially when it requires a certain degree of personal sacrifice — time, money, attention, effort. We enjoy the beauty of these words in conversations, we agree with the idea at mental level, we doubt their validity at emotional level and we rarely behave as if they were a truth to live by. The more you share unconditionally what others most need, the more you will receive what you most want.
Through her struggle and situation, Irene allowed me to offer her my full and unconditional support and I never even considered asking for something in return. And in my wholehearted giving of what she had asked for — the mentorship and guidance to graduate — I had been offered the fulfillment of my dream: admission to one of the best doctoral programs in the world. Her honest journey was to be a jazz musician but she took the apparently safe road into life and chose to study engineering. Because her heart was with her music, she wasn’t able to graduate from engineering school for ten years. Even though she finally completed her studies, she lost both games. As Jim Carey shared in a sad story about his father, “You can fail at something you don’t want in life, so you might as well take a chance doing what you love.” She was probably one of the worst students but she was also the only one who created the possibility for me to accomplish my dream. I am absolutely sure that if I hadn’t offered her my love and unconditional support, I wouldn’t be here today. Nothing happens in contradiction to the rules of this world. However, much happens in contradiction to what we know of them.
Offer your unconditional support to people because the more you give to others what they need, the more you receive what you want. As you search for the ones who will take you closer to your dream, so too they see in you somebody who might take them closer to their dreams. Share with your mind, share with your heart and share with your hands. Mysterious doors open for you when you unlock them for others.
Only a couple of months before graduating from college, I became desperate to leave Romania and to find a masters program abroad. I thoroughly disliked what I studied and because I didn’t see any practical applications for the theory I had to forcefully ingest during classes, I was a way-below-average student that barely passed his exams. I wasn’t meeting the basic academic requirements for a post-graduate program in Europe and all evidence showed I didn’t stand a chance, but I kept looking, browsing and asking around.
At the same time, a lovely woman entered my life. We struck up a conversation during a concert in a blues bar and quickly became friends. Irene was a beautiful and lively person, a kind soul that everybody wants to have around. She was a fantastic jazz singer, but she had also given up her dreams of becoming a musician. Everybody believed engineering was the safest way into adulthood so she joined the same university as I had. I later found out that we were colleagues in the same year but we never saw each other because she was also working two full-time jobs. She was five years older than me and she was repeating her last year of studies for the fifth time. Irene enrolled in this bachelor program 10 years ago and her hope was that this year she will finally graduate. We became close friends. We traveled together, we played rock ballads late at night in the students dormitory, we worked and stayed up late before exams to study together. Limited only by my knowledge and abilities, I offered her my full, unconditional support with her exams.
After several months of late night searching for a postgraduate program abroad, I became tired of not meeting the academic requirements and of not having the mandatory credentials. I became really angry about feeling not good enough for some stranger with a position of authority, to make a decision about my future. “Screw you with your damn requirements! There has to be better way!
One day after breakfast, Irene invited me to join her for a cup of coffee with one of her friends who was a faculty member at the university. I wasn’t particularly sociable and friendly on that cold and cloudy morning, but I eventually accepted and we went together to the professor’s office. They talked for half an hour and I patiently waited on a chair next to the door without saying a word. They shared a few stories about their lives, revealed small secrets about their health and said good bye with the promise of seeing each other again soon. As I wished our host a good day, I found myself asking without even thinking if she had any idea of how I could get into a masters program abroad. She thought for a few seconds and then wrote a name on a piece of paper, advising me to send this guy an email. I wasn’t at all curious to search his name online, but I sent the email without any hope for a positive reply. The second day this person called and asked me if I would be interested in a Ph.D. position in aerospace engineering at a leading university in Germany. To my surprise, he was the leader of a major division with the German Aerospace Center. He offered me the position without asking too many questions about my academic background and I accepted without having any idea of what a Ph.D. actually was.
We read in books and hear from others that this world works in mysterious ways. We learn that the more we share with others the more it comes back to us, but we never really live the profoundness of these teachings at the level of behavior. Simply stated, we know it but we don’t do it. Especially when it requires a certain degree of personal sacrifice — time, money, attention, effort. We enjoy the beauty of these words in conversations, we agree with the idea at mental level, we doubt their validity at emotional level and we rarely behave as if they were a truth to live by. The more you share unconditionally what others most need, the more you will receive what you most want.
Through her struggle and situation, Irene allowed me to offer her my full and unconditional support and I never even considered asking for something in return. And in my wholehearted giving of what she had asked for — the mentorship and guidance to graduate — I had been offered the fulfillment of my dream: admission to one of the best doctoral programs in the world. Her honest journey was to be a jazz musician but she took the apparently safe road into life and chose to study engineering. Because her heart was with her music, she wasn’t able to graduate from engineering school for ten years. Even though she finally completed her studies, she lost both games. As Jim Carey shared in a sad story about his father, “You can fail at something you don’t want in life, so you might as well take a chance doing what you love.” She was probably one of the worst students but she was also the only one who created the possibility for me to accomplish my dream. I am absolutely sure that if I hadn’t offered her my love and unconditional support, I wouldn’t be here today. Nothing happens in contradiction to the rules of this world. However, much happens in contradiction to what we know of them.
Offer your unconditional support to people because the more you give to others what they need, the more you receive what you want. As you search for the ones who will take you closer to your dream, so too they see in you somebody who might take them closer to their dreams. Share with your mind, share with your heart and share with your hands. Mysterious doors open for you when you unlock them for others.
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